The 'heartbreaking' OCD that can make you doubt your relationship

Image source, Sophia Image caption, Sophia describes the toll of having relationship OCD as "mental torture" By Elena Bailey Health reporter Published 5 minutes ago Sophia, 24, has been in a loving relationship for more than a year, but she still finds herself questioning everything about it - from how compatible she and her boyfriend are to whether she loves him at all, and what action she might take as a result. "I couldn't leave the house because I was so worried I would cheat on my boyfriend," says Sophia, a content creator and waitress from Leeds. "At my worst, I couldn't go to work. I'd be lying in bed all day, asking [Chat] GPT hundreds of questions to try and get reassurance." Sophia is describing living with relationship OCD (ROCD), a form of obsessive compulsive disorder which experts say goes far beyond the normal relationship doubts that we can all experience. Instead, ROCD involves persistent intrusive doubts that cause significant distress and lead to compulsive behaviours, such as repeatedly testing your partner to try to find reassurance. "It can take hours of mental energy and cause a lot of anxiety, whereas in a normal relationship these thoughts don't dominate your day," says Prof David Veale, a consultant psychiatrist at the South London and Maudsley NHS Trust. Sophia describes the toll as "mental torture". "Having a voice in your head constantly nitpicking at your relationship and having all of these horrible thoughts against your partner; it's heartbreaking," she said. OCD affects 1.2% of the UK population, but it is hard to know just how many people are impacted by ROCD because it is not recorded separately. There is insufficient data to say whether relationship OCD affects women more than men, said Prof Veale, though his personal impression was that it was "slightly more common in women". When Prof Guy Doron, a clinical psychologist from Reichman University in Israel, first started researching the condition over a decade ago, there was very little information on it. But he is now "seeing an increase in referrals for relationship OCD". While the statistics are limited, the increased awareness through social media and research appears to be driving more people to seek help. 'Completely shut down' Relationship OCD typically falls into two categories: one is relationship-centred, where you doubt your feelings, and the other is partner-focused, which centres around a partner's potential flaws. Symptoms mainly present in romantic relationships but can also affect other types too, said Doron. Life transitions such as becoming official, moving in together or getting married can often be a trigger. Sophia's OCD used to centre on avoiding germs and worrying about her health. At its worst, she washed her hands at least 30 times a day. When she first met her boyfriend in a bar on Valentine's Day, Sophia felt present in the moment and enjoyed spending time with him, but when things became more serious about a month in, she says her OCD