What happened next: The We Do Not Care Club – how a funny, furious feminist movement began

Melani Sanders was frazzled and sleep-deprived, and wondered whether other menopausal women were going through the same thing. So she put her feelings on camera. The answer was immediate ...If you’re a woman of a certain age with a phone, you’ve probably seen one of Melani Sanders’ We Do Not Care Club posts. In a fleecy dressing gown with reading glasses hanging off her like Christmas tree baubles, a sleep mask wonkily on her forehead, Sanders stares deadpan at the camera. “We are putting the world on notice that we simply do not care much any more,” she says. She uncaps a highlighter with her teeth, spitting the lid out of shot, then starts flatly listing stuff members of the We Do Not Care Club, her virtual community of menopausal women, don’t care about. “We do not care we have to go to therapy weekly; you are probably the reason we are there.” “We do not care if we asked you the question 13 times. We do not remember the answer; say it again.” “We do not care if you realise we are not wearing a bra: this, my friend, is freedom.”Sanders laughs when I show her over Zoom (she’s in West Palm Beach, Florida) the highlighter tucked into my bra strap in her honour. Since she first suggested starting a “we do not care club” on 13 May 2025, it has become more than a series of brilliantly funny videos about how the midlife hormonal rollercoaster leaves women bereft of fucks to give. It is a worldwide sisterhood of 2.2 million followers on Instagram and 1.5 million on TikTok. But when Sanders, 45, sat frazzled and sleep-deprived in her car, fetching the supplements that kept her (somewhat) sane since entering surgically induced perimenopause, she was wondering if she was alone. Pre-hysterectomy, she was a perfectionist, running her home, family and life with military precision; no more. Her sports bra was skew-whiff; her hair dishevelled. “I said: ‘Melani, you really just don’t care any more … Is it just a me thing? I just hit record.’” Continue reading...