‘We need to talk about how difficult it is’: why one couple are pinning surrogacy hopes on Mexico

Jules Von Hep (seated) and his partner, Mark Beverlo. Photograph: Martin Godwin/The Guardian View image in fullscreen Jules Von Hep (seated) and his partner, Mark Beverlo. Photograph: Martin Godwin/The Guardian ‘We need to talk about how difficult it is’: why one couple are pinning surrogacy hopes on Mexico Jules Von Hep and Mark Beverlo, who have been trying to become parents since 2020, are now seeking help abroad Rise in overseas surrogates ‘increases risk of stateless babies’ Why Mexico is at the heart of ethical debate over global surrogacy J ules Von Hep has wanted a baby ever since he can remember. For many people that dream is straightforward to realise – but, as a gay man, he has always known it would take years of saving and searching. The only way he can have a biological child is to use a surrogate, which costs tens of thousands of pounds, and it often takes years of searching to find the right match. For Von Hep, it has been an “incredibly painful, incredibly expensive” process. “I’ve always known that surrogacy is the option I wanted to go down. That, really, has led to the career choices that I’ve made, how I’ve worked, making sure that I was always saving money in the bank for fertility,” he said. Von Hep and his partner, Mark Beverlo, started trying to become parents in 2020. They signed up with an IVF clinic, bought some donor eggs and submitted themselves to rigorous sperm-testing requirements. They soon found themselves facing rapidly mounting charges, starting from £1,000 for single advisory meetings to £13,000 for a round of embryo creation, including a failed attempt along the way. They then signed up to an agency, where the waiting list for UK-based women volunteering to be surrogates was two to three years. Von Hep had a look at some unregulated Facebook groups, in which prospective parents pitch themselves to potential surrogates. “I just couldn’t bear the idea of pitching our lives, standing there in front of the house with a dog and saying: ‘This is what we’ve got’.” Eventually, the surrogacy agency matched the couple with a woman and the embryo transfers began, at a cost of £5,000 a go. When these didn’t work, they opted to attempt insemination at home, sometimes referred to as “turkey basting”. That approach also failed and Von Hep and his partner decided to give up on surrogacy in the UK. They turned their sights abroad: the most popular destination, Ukraine, was closed off due to the war, leaving the US – too expensive at about £250,000 – Canada and Mexico , in which surrogacy was legalised for same-sex parents in 2021. At a cost of around £60-90,000, they were lucky to be able to afford to go to Mexico. Although the costs are similar to the UK, which has a non-commercial altruistic model of surrogacy in which a surrogate’s expenses are paid, some Mexican states take a commercial approach. “The difference doing it commercially is unbelievable. The knowledge that the egg donors are being paid, that everyone is – the